How Tyranny of Perfection Imprisons Your Talents

What talents have you locked up?

So many of us go through life not using all our skills, gifts or talents. What about you?

To what extent do you use yours? Do you hide some of your talents from the world?

Ask yourself: what gifts, skills or talents have I used, shown or shared? Have I only uncovered the tip of the iceberg? Have I got more to offer?

It’s so easy to do the things, and share the skills, you already feel really confident about; but what about all those things that you can do, yet keep quiet about?

You know deep down you have much more to give.

So why don’t you? What’s stopping you?

I just haven’t got the time, you say to yourself. I can’t do everything.

Or is it because you just don’t think your gifts are not perfect enough? Is it because you’re scared of rejection? Is it because you fear how others may judge you.

How many talented people have the guts to put themselves on the line. Are you one of them?

Suppose you’ve got the time. Time’s not the real problem here. The real problem is often simply lack of confidence.

After all, using your gifts is not always about being the best, or even making a career out of them. Using your gifts and talents should be fun, you should enjoy using them. Think back to your childhood.

What can you learn from children?

Remember how you behaved. You’d sing and dance. You’d tell stories, play games and run races. You’d draw and have fun painting. You’d do all these things without any thought if they were good or not . . . until the first time someone put you down. Even then it may have taken some time to put a damper on your activity.

Is that why you’re so self-concious; is that why we you’re so fearful not to “show yourself up”? Is it because you have learned to lack confidence? Yes, learned; after all, I’m sure most of you sang, painted, ran, told stories, played games and sport, all without any thought of whether you were any good or not. Most of you probably thought you were good, but that didn’t really matter; you were enjoying it.

Who stole your self-confidence?

Many of us have learned to lack confidence, especially if we’ve been put down, laughed at, or told we weren’t good enough. Who told us? Well, the list is endless. These are just some examples: parents, teachers, peer groups, friends, family etc. We’ve allowed our confidence to be eroded, bit by bit, in so many small ways, over so many years and in different situations.

It’s not surprising then that most of us never venture forward with skills we may have, that are not perfected, not seen as outstanding or exceptional. Just because of some sense of “not being good enough”.

You don’t have to be the best 

For example, take shows like The X Factor or The Voice. We often hear the judges say things like “Yes she can sing, but she’s just not good enough”. So, does that mean her voice can no longer give pleasure to herself or other people? Just because she won’t make a hit single, or be at the top of the charts? I’m sure the judges of these shows don’t mean to stop them singing; but how many of the contestants often feel rejected and despondant?

Maybe they won’t get a hit record or a recording deal. Is that the only way to use their talent? Lots of singers give enormous pleasure to audiences all over the world, without ever reaching the so-called “top”. How many people with good voices give up altogether, and never sing in public again? What a waste of talent.

We all need to learn to be glad of our talents, and learn to enjoy them no matter what. Lots of us have talents, in all kinds of areas of life, that we’ve locked away: just because they’re not perceived as perfect. Why allow the best be the enemy of the good?

Your talents can bring happiness to many people

Let’s all remember to be more like we were as children, and learn to enjoy life, without worrying what others think. Skills, gifts and talents are wasted if we don’t use them to help people, or bring happiness or enjoyment to ourselves and others.

So challenge yourself to share your talents and stop hiding them. Learn to let go of worrying about not being perfect; none of us are. We only have to venture out of our hiding places, and give it a go.

A gift is meant to be given; share them with someone you trust, or you know will benefit from your help. Skills never improve without practice, and talents are meant to enrich your life.

You know, deep down, you have much more to offer. Don’t let the tyranny of perfection or being the best imprison your talents.

Come out of hiding. Make others happy and be happier yourself.

Susan J McCann

Happiness coach

@susanjmccann