Quote of the week 17: How behavior creates attitudes

Words are easy, and often cheap. It’s action alone that changes things. It’s what we do, rather than the words alone that can hep change another person’s attitude.



Let’s take a simple example: someone has a bit of a negative attitude towards you.

You want to change the way they relate to you, make it better, more positive.

The worst strategy is to start attacking them.

“Why are you looking at me that way? What have I done to you? Why don’t you like me?

Attack someone, and they defend themselves. They harden their attitude. Makes things worse.

No-one likes being judged by another person. It simply stirs up even more negativity and a further breakdown in relations. They may even decide not to talk to that person any more.

So, what’s a better way?

Simple. Stop judging them. Why? Because it’s impossible. You can’t see what’s in that person’s heart and mind. You’re only guessing, and with a negative mindset. You’re behaving towards them aggressively.

Much better to behave in a positive way. Talk to them positively. Smile. Offer a handshake. Praise something good they have done. Offer to help them. Show yourself friendly, peaceful and ready to work with them. Let your behavior show them that you really do accept them.

A word of warning!

It’s no use just pretending to accept them. Such lies are seen immediately. Find love in your heart for them. Authentic love and openness. As Og Mandino famously wrote: “I greet this day with love in my heart.”

Apply that to everyone you meet. “I greet this person with love in my heart.”

It can work like magic. Someone close to me used this strategy working with difficult people. Almost always it provided an unexpected breakthrough.

People are not stupid. They can sense when they’re being lied to. They can also feel when another person really does accept them, without any personal judgement.

So, if you want to change someone else’s negative attitude to wards you, then the remedy is simple. Change your own behavior towards them.

It seems that Katherine Hepburn had a point!

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

P.S  Feel free to share this Quote with a friend.


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