How would you feel, and react, if someone suddenly started being really nice to you? Delighted, or suspicious of their motives? You might be tempted to think,
“Yes, well, they’re just being nice . . . but they don’t really mean it. Maybe they just want something. What are they after?”
Fake niceness! Maybe that says a lot about our society.
It’s possible to give a little in order to get what we want. People who deliberately manipulate others know this. They pretend friendship, kindness, giving . . . only in the hope of getting back what they want. They don’t really care about the other person. They’re using them for their own ends.
There is a better way. I believe we’re here on this planet to love, give, and contribute unselfishly. To make the world a better place: by helping others, sowing seeds of kindness, love and generosity. If your heart’s in the right place, others will be moved to grow in love as well.
As Dyer suggests: move on, change the way we look at people: they’re valued, fellow human beings. Think of the other person and their needs. The best way to change others is to change the way we treat them. As Gandhi famously said: “be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
The ideal is to be nice to someone, just because you want them to feel good. There’s no hidden agenda. You’ve moved on from total absorption in yourself. You’re not thinking about yourself. You want to give, give, give. You’re invited to live your highest and best self. It’s all about your values, your love, your personal commitment to “do the right thing.”
A loving world is a happy world. Senseless wars and violence could vanish, if only we embraced loving others, really caring about them as friends.
Dyer reminds us that it’s by changing and improving the way we treat other people, that they will automatically be changed for the better. You will have experienced this yourself. If someone does you a favour, your immediate response is, “That’s really nice of them.” You think better of them, and are far more likely to be loving to them in return.
The classical saying, “It is in giving that we receive” sums it up. Most people are not made of stone. They tend to respond in kind. Far better then to treat them well, positively, altruistically. They will be moved, perhaps even in spite of themselves, to respond in kind.
If you change the way you look at people, they will also change. In a word:
“We reap what we sow.”
How altruistic are you? What’s your experience? Leave a comment below. Thank you.