Like most of us, I’ve been through many negative confrontations. They never made me happy. We get upset, angry and retreat into our shell. Such arguments are more of a blame-game competition, than a positive analysis of the situation.
“You screwed up big time, buddy.”
“I’m not the only one to blame. What was your contribution? You didn’t exactly help, did you?”
And so on, and so on. Wasting time, blaming each other. Far better to acknowledge responsibility, but without getting personal about it. Then each can freely admit what they did, and then everyone can get on with finding a better way.
Far more sensible to analyze the problem again, and have a brain-storm about what else could be tried.
“O.K. guys. I screwed up. We all did a bit. Let’s focus on our goal here.”
This positive approach keeps people happy, working in harmony, and unleashes their inbuilt creativity. It makes for a peaceful workplace, a happy home. Complaining, whinging, attacking only creates bad feeling, and halts real progress.
I’ve been blessed with a long life. I’ve often been guilty of strongly defending my part in the failure, insisting it wasn’t my fault. Eventually I learned the lesson. For some time now, my only response has been:
“That’s history. Let’s move on. No judgements, who’s right, who’s wrong. History can’t be changed. All we have is now. Time for peace, thinking. What can we do now?”
“Boiling the cabbage” . . . two, three, four times . . . achieves nothing, except spoiling the cabbage. Much better to serve the cabbage, carve the meat, mash the potatoes. Eat and enjoy, and get on with your life.
Moving on really does make life much happier, much more creative, and builds loving relationships.
Revenge is horrible, arguing is painful, and complaining creates division. Looking back is anger gets us nowhere. Always try to look to the future you can create. Loving collaboration is so much better.
Have you played the blame game? What did you learn? Leave a comment below. Thank you.