Life not giving you what you want
Fed up with feeling that sometimes life is just not going the way you want it to?
Do you ever get frustrated with how some things are in your life?
Do you feel that you deserve more?
Have you ever asked yourself, ” Do I feel bad about any of these?”:
Your relationships, your work, your lack of opportunities, the way you look, the way you feel when things seem to go wrong in your life.
Do you sometimes feel cross, upset, dejected, lethargic, or feel that life’s not fair?
Use your negative thoughts and emotions
Well, how would you like to learn a simple technique, that could help you think and feel differently?
How would you like to use those same negative thoughts to help you?
Instead of allowing negative emotions to hijack your thinking, decide to change your thoughts by asking yourself,
“What can I learn from this?”
“Can these negative thoughts, and emotions, help me to recognize what I do want?”
For example, take something that most of us suffer from, at some point in our lives, “Body Image.”
We often get frustrated at, or even hate, the way we look:
Out of shape, spotty skin, discolored teeth, rotting teeth, bags under our eyes, double chin, beer belly, haggard appearance, too fat, too thin . . . (just fill in the blanks).
When we feel like this, we often carry on feeding this pain or guilt, with more of the same. Recognize any of these?
Not exercising enough.
Eating the wrong foods.
Not eating enough.
Drinking too much.
Drinking too many sugared drinks.
Using or taking harmful substances.
Not getting enough rest or sleep.
Not caring for our skin, teeth, feet, nails, hair.
Stressing about it.
Instead of resorting to old negative habits and behavior, ask yourself:
“What are these negative thoughts and emotions helping me to recognize?”
Are they signals, that the body is sending to you?
Are they showing you that you are no longer happy to put up with how they make you feel?
Are they heartfelt pointers, reminding you that you deserve to love the way you look?
That you want to change your behavior, your habits, your thinking?
What are they telling you?
Once you start changing the way you look at negative thoughts and emotions, you’ll begin to recognize that they are helping you to understand what you really do want.
Think about it for the next few minutes. Whenever we feel negative emotions about something, it usually points out to us what we truly want:
- A less stressful job
- Less stressful life
- A better relationship with our partner, parents, children, peers
- More balance in our lives
- Healthier body
- A healthier lifestyle
- More fun in our lives
- A purpose in life
- Spending time with loved ones, friends and on ourselves
Make a mental list of all the things that negative emotions are pointing out to you, showing you, and screaming out to you.
Take time to think.
What they are spelling out to you, loud and clear?
I think you’ll agree that they are letting you know what you want instead.
The positive things you really want in your life, instead of the negative things you are already experiencing, or thinking, or worrying about.
Sounds obvious doesn’t it?
But how many of us actually take any notice, and really admit what we do want — what we want enough to change our thinking, our behavior, our habits?
Be honest now, how often do you really take notice?
No more excuses, such as, “I’m too tired, I haven’t got time, I’ve no choice, I’m just not that type of person, I can’t help who I am, I just can’t do it.”
If you truly what to empower yourself to be stronger, more positive, more energized, tap into your inner power, then make that list.
What are some of things on your list?
Which of them are the most important to you?
Then allow yourself to think about all the positive things that you do truly want. Think about how having, being or doing these will have a positive impact on your life. Think how you feel about having and experiencing them.
Allow your creative imagination to paint a picture, in as much detail as you can, of what your life will be like once you have them.
Practice this often, make a game of it. Once you make a habit of this, you will begin to fill in the details. You’ll start to feel all the positive emotions that life has to offer you. The more creative you are, the more detail you’ll fill in. Like painting a portrait, building a jigsaw, designing a room.
You are the writer and director of your own movie: you direct the actors, the scene, the dialogue. You have free rein on whatever you want it to be, or to change what happens. You can enjoy all the excitement, happiness, satisfaction, peace, love, fulfillment and feel-good moments of sheer pleasure of having that life.
OK, OK; I can hear you saying, “Yeah, that’s just a pipe dream; it’s never going to happen.”
Daydreaming positive emotions is good for the soul
So, what if it doesn’t happen? You’re still experiencing those positive emotions. It can improve your creative mental ability. It’s a stress buster, it can give you endless moments of joy, happiness, peace, contentment or just sheer fun; and, all for free.
Just like when you’re asleep, enjoying a really great dream, or a horrible nightmare: you still get the same emotions of fear, worry, excitement, happiness, etc., while you’re asleep and only dreaming. The mind processes all your real life events, dreams, and thoughts in a similar way, affecting your nervous system, your body and your emotions.
Some people even thrash about in their sleep, fighting off imagined demons. Sleep walkers are acting out their dream. I’m more than sure some of you have had similar physical experiences during, shall we say, more positive dreams.
Can you remember any dreams, that seemed so real, that you weren’t sure if you were dreaming or not? No matter what experiences you have had, why not decide what you want to day-dream about, while you’re awake.
Why wait until you’re sleeping, and have less control over your thoughts?
Have fun whenever you have a few spare minutes or more. Escape the rigors of life, the busy train commute, and take a short coffee or lunch break, enjoying the game of daydreaming. That stress-free world of make-believe. Allowing your thoughts, your imagination, your creativity to color your world with wondrous possibilities.
It’s so beneficial to you, and on so many different levels. It helps you to feel what it would be like. It improves your positivity. It gives you material to enlarge your imagination, and creative thinking. It widens your outlook on life.
It’s a form of practicing what you would do, and how you would do it; what it would be like, and how you would feel.
Above all, it helps you to focus your thinking on things that you want, instead of what you don’t want.
It’s a technique I’ve used for many years now; it’s helped me to feel good about myself. It’s helped me to cope with and overcome situations, events, fears and relationships I have had in my life. Showing me what I wanted, or needed, to be different.
Thinking about what I really wanted empowered me, and in so many ways. It fed my soul with wonderful loving emotions, instead of the dread, fear, lack, and what I didn’t have. Thinking and daydreaming about what I did want, often gave me the strength I needed to take small steps towards doing the things I really wanted, instead of the things that were negative. I’ve used it over and over again, for dealing with all sorts of relationships, events, situations in my life that cause negative emotions.
That’s why I know it works. That it can work for you. That you’ll be able to use this technique in all sorts of areas of your life, no matter what they are.
Because even when you have no control over what others do or say to you, or when you cannot control some situations in your life, you can control your own thoughts, your own thinking. You can empower yourself, by using those negative emotions to point out to you what you do want, what you need to do.
You can positively re-run that event in your head, to give it a different outcome. One that gives you strength, one that gives you courage; one that makes you believe, and feel, that you can experience what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Thinking thoughts that empower you. By focussing on what you want in your life.
As the saying goes “what you focus on is what you bring about”. So why waste your thoughts on things you don’t want? Use your negative emotions, as signals, to point instead to the positive things you do want. Fill your thoughts, and creative imagination, with what you do want. Do this as often as possible; and just enjoy.
What we focus on, and think about often enough, sparks our subconscious into action: it starts looking for ways of bringing these about.
Remember that in our world, nothing exists that humans have built, made, invented or acted on, without first being a thought in a person’s mind.
So have some fun, enjoy the positive energy of positive thoughts. Fill your mind, body and spirit with what the popular “Beach Boys” song would say, “Good Vibrations.”
If you haven’t heard of it, look it up on the internet. It’s a classic “feel good” upbeat song from a past generation. Click the link below to hear the song.
Susan J. McCann
If you like this post please feel free to share it out. Many Thanks
PS I’d love to hear how it works for you, or about techniques you use that have worked for you.